Privacy as a Blogger

I’m almost embarrassed as I’m writing this, because calling myself a blogger can sound lame sometimes. To be clear, I’m not embarrassed that I blog – I LOVE it, and I started this whole thing as a way to express myself in a creative way, and because it was cathartic for me to write out my thoughts and feelings. My friend calls refers to it as downloading my feelings, which I love! The part that makes me uncomfortable is that I’m nowhere near being a famous blogger (which I’m totally ok with and I own it!), and I think that sometimes it can come across as obnoxious when I talk about blogging, because I don’t want to make myself sound like I think I’m super cool. Does that even make sense? Anyways, I’m working on it.

When it comes to sharing my blog with people I know personally, I have mixed feelings about it. I’m very transparent with what I share on here, and rarely hold back on details when I’m sharing a personal story with you. I don’t typically hide the fact that I’m a blogger – my family and friends know, and I share my favorite posts on my personal Facebook and Snapchat so that people I know can read them. I do keep my Instagram accounts separate, but that’s mostly because I like posting pictures with my family and friends, and not all of them are comfortable with those photos being shared with the entire world. The way I see it, the people who care about me won’t judge me for what I write because I stay true to who I am as a person through my posts, so nothing really surprises them. And as for the people who I’m not close with? Well, I don’t really care what they think, so it doesn’t bother me if they judge what I’m writing about. Actually, one of the nicest things ever is when people I know from high school but weren’t really close with reach out unexpectedly to let me know that they read my blog and that they love the content. It makes me SO happy!

There is, however, a gray area.

Last week, my personal nightmare finally happened. Like I said, I don’t typically care about people I know seeing what’s on here, although I do try to censor things on occasion (my grandma reads this, after all!). Not to sound like a basic bitch, but my mom happens to think I’m pretty great and tells anybody who will listen how great she thinks my blog is and how they should all follow me, so I’m used to having people at the hair salon we go to commenting on a post from a few weeks ago, or for her friends to follow @TheLaughingBlonde on Instagram. What I was not prepared for was for someone who I’d only been on a couple dates with to find my blog.

Yes, you read that correctly. TBH, he’s probably reading this right now and I’m sure I’ll get a text about how I’m finally writing about him, since he was apparently looking forward to that. We’d just gone out on our second date the night before, and I’d texted to ask if he wanted to do something later that week. He said something really odd, along the lines of, “I don’t want you to expect to be my girlfriend in four dates, no matter how badly I want to get into your Lulu Lemons.” I was super confused and told him I wasn’t following. And about 20 seconds later, my heart practically stopped, because he texted back, “Sorry – blog references”. I. WANTED. TO. DIE. On the spot. Just die. No questions asked. Because I immediately knew what he was referring to – it was my latest post on why dating in NYC was the worst, and a step-by-step recount of me basically ripping apart a guy that had just ended things with me. Not exactly the thing you want the cute guy who you like but have only hung out with twice to find. NOPE.

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Literally me when I saw that text

Luckily, he was really cool about it. He thought it was funny, more than anything else. I’m not entirely convinced that he doesn’t think I’m somewhat of a psycho, but we did go out again after he found this, so there’s hope still. I’m still not sure how he found it to begin with and knew it was mine, but I’m also really impressed bc clearly he’s as talented of an internet stalker (and I mean that in the best way) as I am. As you know, I pride myself in being borderline FBI-level, and this impressed me.

Even though I’ve had The Laughing Blonde for over a year now, I still haven’t totally figured out how to completely own it and be proud of it 100% of the time, if I’m being honest. Sometimes I do get embarrassed when one of my friends proudly refers to me as The Laughing Blonde or my mom posts a cute picture of the two of us with the caption, “Brunching in NY with the infamous blogger The Laughing Blonde”. And that’s so silly, because this is something that I care about and that I work hard on – why shouldn’t I be proud of it? Something I’m going to really focus on this year is owning who I am instead of shying away from it. I feel like that’s the only way I can continue to grow the blog and put out content that people can actually benefit from. And I want to make sure that I’m creating content that you love!

So that said, I need to know what you love and what you don’t love. What you want to see more of and what you want to see less of. Do you like hearing about Whole 30 recipes I’m loving, or do you want to hear more about bad dating stories? Let me know – send me an email, post a comment, or slide into my DMs – I’m all ears!

xo, AJ

5 thoughts on “Privacy as a Blogger

  1. Tara-Fundamentum says:

    I can very much relate to this post and the feelings of being candid on a blog but with the world, especially in your personal life reading it. I have blogged on and off for years and even had a blog throughout high school/university that documented almost everything in my life. I also had a situation very similar to the one you are going through and unfortunately did not go over as well as yours has.

    I know as someone who chooses to share their life with the world, or aspects of it, it is a choice that we make. I love sharing some of my feelings and thoughts and the supportive community that surrounds it all. But I also know that I may be a hypocrite because the majority of my family and friends in my personal life do not know that I have a blog (that has been reserved for a select few people).

    There is something very unique about the “blogger” community and the amazing group of people that make it up. However, there are times too where I am happy to share my world, thoughts, and life with the community, but question the privacy of my personal life and those members in it reading it all.

    At the end of the day though, I love the community and I do not think I would ever stop; those that love and support me will understand (… we hope … just kidding)

    Like

    • thelaughingblonde says:

      Your comment basically explains exactly how I feel! It can be hard sometimes, because I’m really committed to just being open & honest when I write, but in the back of my head I’m thinking about the handful of people who I would really prefer to not read it. So glad I’m not the only one who feels this way 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Victoria Benson says:

    I love this. You are such an incredible writing, Amanda. When i read your posts i feel like i can hear your voice and expression. It’s so exciting. You’re really not helping my insomnia 😭😂

    What do i want from your blogging? 50 posts a day please LOL! I’d love to see VLOGS! Or makeup, or NYC living, recipes, your daily life, dating stories. Everything! Your writing can make staring at a rock interesting!!!!!

    As for you having difficulty owning your blog—i hope this goes away. You should be proud of your posts, your Instagram, your website. You are a BLOGGER. gaining followers, being more known. Infamous or famous, it doesn’t matter! You are a natural blogger and your content is so fun to read. Also puts into perspective that even though you are a blogger, you’re transparent and authentic. You tell it like it is. You show others that your HUMAN. . you make mistakes and you show others they’re not alone. Especially with your incredible anxiety post. You really wrote what i needed to hear that day.

    SO OWN IT. and be proud. THIS IS YOU. You’ve created this. In no way do you come across as being too cool, but i mean……. you are really cool. … so you wouldn’t be lying to anyone if you thought that. ♥️♥️

    Anyways keep being you. So proud of you. Xoxo

    Like

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