I’m almost embarrassed as I’m writing this, because calling myself a blogger can sound lame sometimes. To be clear, I’m not embarrassed that I blog – I LOVE it, and I started this whole thing as a way to express myself in a creative way, and because it was cathartic for me to write out my thoughts and feelings. My friend calls refers to it as downloading my feelings, which I love! The part that makes me uncomfortable is that I’m nowhere near being a famous blogger (which I’m totally ok with and I own it!), and I think that sometimes it can come across as obnoxious when I talk about blogging, because I don’t want to make myself sound like I think I’m super cool. Does that even make sense? Anyways, I’m working on it.
When it comes to sharing my blog with people I know personally, I have mixed feelings about it. I’m very transparent with what I share on here, and rarely hold back on details when I’m sharing a personal story with you. I don’t typically hide the fact that I’m a blogger – my family and friends know, and I share my favorite posts on my personal Facebook and Snapchat so that people I know can read them. I do keep my Instagram accounts separate, but that’s mostly because I like posting pictures with my family and friends, and not all of them are comfortable with those photos being shared with the entire world. The way I see it, the people who care about me won’t judge me for what I write because I stay true to who I am as a person through my posts, so nothing really surprises them. And as for the people who I’m not close with? Well, I don’t really care what they think, so it doesn’t bother me if they judge what I’m writing about. Actually, one of the nicest things ever is when people I know from high school but weren’t really close with reach out unexpectedly to let me know that they read my blog and that they love the content. It makes me SO happy!
There is, however, a gray area.
Last week, my personal nightmare finally happened. Like I said, I don’t typically care about people I know seeing what’s on here, although I do try to censor things on occasion (my grandma reads this, after all!). Not to sound like a basic bitch, but my mom happens to think I’m pretty great and tells anybody who will listen how great she thinks my blog is and how they should all follow me, so I’m used to having people at the hair salon we go to commenting on a post from a few weeks ago, or for her friends to follow @TheLaughingBlonde on Instagram. What I was not prepared for was for someone who I’d only been on a couple dates with to find my blog.
Yes, you read that correctly. TBH, he’s probably reading this right now and I’m sure I’ll get a text about how I’m finally writing about him, since he was apparently looking forward to that. We’d just gone out on our second date the night before, and I’d texted to ask if he wanted to do something later that week. He said something really odd, along the lines of, “I don’t want you to expect to be my girlfriend in four dates, no matter how badly I want to get into your Lulu Lemons.” I was super confused and told him I wasn’t following. And about 20 seconds later, my heart practically stopped, because he texted back, “Sorry – blog references”. I. WANTED. TO. DIE. On the spot. Just die. No questions asked. Because I immediately knew what he was referring to – it was my latest post on why dating in NYC was the worst, and a step-by-step recount of me basically ripping apart a guy that had just ended things with me. Not exactly the thing you want the cute guy who you like but have only hung out with twice to find. NOPE.
Luckily, he was really cool about it. He thought it was funny, more than anything else. I’m not entirely convinced that he doesn’t think I’m somewhat of a psycho, but we did go out again after he found this, so there’s hope still. I’m still not sure how he found it to begin with and knew it was mine, but I’m also really impressed bc clearly he’s as talented of an internet stalker (and I mean that in the best way) as I am. As you know, I pride myself in being borderline FBI-level, and this impressed me.
Even though I’ve had The Laughing Blonde for over a year now, I still haven’t totally figured out how to completely own it and be proud of it 100% of the time, if I’m being honest. Sometimes I do get embarrassed when one of my friends proudly refers to me as The Laughing Blonde or my mom posts a cute picture of the two of us with the caption, “Brunching in NY with the infamous blogger The Laughing Blonde”. And that’s so silly, because this is something that I care about and that I work hard on – why shouldn’t I be proud of it? Something I’m going to really focus on this year is owning who I am instead of shying away from it. I feel like that’s the only way I can continue to grow the blog and put out content that people can actually benefit from. And I want to make sure that I’m creating content that you love!
So that said, I need to know what you love and what you don’t love. What you want to see more of and what you want to see less of. Do you like hearing about Whole 30 recipes I’m loving, or do you want to hear more about bad dating stories? Let me know – send me an email, post a comment, or slide into my DMs – I’m all ears!