Healthy Hair Makes Laughing Blondes

DISCLAIMER: Function of Beauty did NOT sponsor this post. I’m writing this because everyone deserves to have healthy, gorgeous hair! If interested, you can buy their products by clicking this link- Function of Beauty

One of the things that I’m complimented on most is my hair. For most of my life, I’ve had decently healthy, relatively long locks. (This does not include the tragedy of 2007 when I asked for a shoulder-length cut and left the salon in tears because SHOULDER-LENGTH DOES NOT MEAN JUST BELOW THE EARS. Someone please let my EX stylist know that.. Side note – I had a little nub where my bouncy ponytail used to be, and it was not a cute look with my cheerleading uniform.) I’ve also been color-treating it for about 10 years now, as my natural color is a light brown/dark blonde. The majority of the time, it’s been done in a nice salon with proper chemicals, and it’s almost always to go lighter. But there have definitely been times where I was trying to save a few bucks and chose to do boxed color.. ladies, you already know how this turned out. There was the time I wanted to be a “rebel” in high school (which is ridiculous because I was a straight-edge cheerleading captain who to this day has never touched a cigarette in my life) so I dyed the bottom of my hair pink 3 different times. There was also the time that I let my well-intentioned stepmom try to highlight my hair but she left three inches of exposed roots, so I had my friend from work fix it (she actually did an amazing job, shout-out to Katey for that one!).

Fun fact: One time, I decided at the salon that it would really make my blue eyes pop if I went dark brown, so I did and when I went home, my mom flipped out and told me it made me look ill (I’m pretty pale), and made me an appointment for the next day at her salon. They did what they could, but it was still pretty dark because as we know, if you treat your hair too much with color, it can get really dry and damaged and end up breaking easily. So what did this 19 year old with barely any extra money do? I waited a few weeks for winter break to be over and when I went back down to school, I paid 2 of my guy friends in pepperoni pizza to do a box job on my hair. There is no excuse for this. I still live in shame about it.

So here we are. A decade of hair brutality later, and I’m starting to get concerned about its health. I’ve always had a lot of hair (not thick, just a lot of it), and it’s always shed a good amount because that’s just what hair does. In fact, according to Women’s Health Magazine , the average women loses between 60-100 hair strands per day! The number might surprise you, but believe me, it’s accurate. Just ask my boyfriend and he’ll tell you that he’s constantly pulling strands of hair from his peacoat, his bed sheets, his shower drain.. you name it, you can find my hair on it. I’m thinking of gifting him with a monogrammed lint roller at this point. But even with these numbers, I still get a little worried. Last winter, I started really noticing my hair was breaking much more easily that it had been before. I wash my hair every other day (this is generally the recommended amount), I do use heat tools, but not excessively, and I use a wet brush, which is supposed to help with easily detangling knots. Side note- how many of you get a giant knot by the nape of your neck if you wear your hair down for an extended period of time? Nobody? Just me? Ok, cool.

All of this leads me to the reason I was so excited to discover Function of Beauty . This insanely cool company collaborated with chemists and MIT engineers to develop revolutionary shampoos + conditioners customized to your #hairgoals. I’m not gonna lie. The pretty colors on the homepage are what drew me in. But the fact that these products are Sulfate Free, Cruelty Free, Paraben Free, have no toxins and are made in the USA are what convinced me to purchase. Their motto? “Celebrate Individuatlity. We believe your shampoo and conditioner should be as unique as you and your hair.” SIGN ME UP!

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According to their website, there are literally 12 BILLION possible combinations, so I’m thinking they’re pretty spot-on with this while “custom” thing.  Here’s how it works:

  • Build your Hair Profile: You select your hair type (my was wavy), your hair structure (I chose medium) and your scalp moisture (I leaned towards normal for this one).
  • Choose 5 Hair Goals: There are 17 to choose from, touching on the most common #hairgoals women have. For me, I went with deep condition, strengthen, hydrate, color protection and thermal protection.
  • Customize your Formulas: Here’s where it gets fun. You can choose what color you want your shampoo + conditioner to be (they can be 2 different ones) or you can go dye-free. Then you choose the fragrance you want, and how strong you want that fragrance to be. (I went with orange shampoo, blue conditioner and a strong grapefruit scent.) Last, you name your custom formula specific to you!
  • Size + Frequency: Finally, you choose the size and frequency of your bottles. I’ve never in my life run out of shampoo and conditioner at the same time. In fact, I usually buy 2 conditioners for every 1 shampoo. The ratio is ridiculous. But that’s what’s so great about Function of Beauty! You can choose to mix and match the sizes, or just buy one or the other. Totally custom.

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I’ve been using my set for a little over a week now, and I seriously already see a change in my hair. Winters in NYC are tough on hair, and the hydrating elements are doing an incredible job at combating the harsh climate. My hair started feeling healthier after the very first wash, but it’s been increasingly noticeable as each day passes. I actually just went to my salon yesterday – Timothy Pamment Salon in Madison, CT, and my colorist said she noticed that my hair seemed less dry + brittle, which is great news after just one week!

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Thank you to Coco and Maria at Timothy Pamment in Madison, CT for this gorgeous  cut + color!

Pro tip: If for some reason you don’t feel like it’s working for you, the company offers free refunds within the first 30 days. Basically, if by some stroke of bad luck this stuff doesn’t work for you, just send it back and you’ll be fully refunded. What’s the harm in trying? Best of luck, ladies. May the odds be ever in your favor.

xo, AJ

PS: Function of Beauty offers referral codes. If you order through this link, you’ll get $5 off and, full disclosure, so will I.



2 thoughts on “Healthy Hair Makes Laughing Blondes

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