*You can find the full Brother Bruno’s menu by clicking here
I have this terrible habit of saving videos that I want to watch on Facebook, and then never actually watching them. I have a hunch that most people are like this. You know what I mean- you see a BuzzFeed clip that seems like it would be funny, but you don’t think everyone else in your subway car would appreciate you blasting it on the 6:30pm commute ride, so you save it and then subsequently forget about it.
I have this problem with all videos, but especially with the Insider ones that feature these amazing cafes + restaurants all across the world with crazy cool menus and meals that literally leave drool running down my chin. So when I came across Brother Bruno’s in Wayne, New Jersey, I was determined to not let that happen. To me, this was the ultimate place to try one of these restaurants out! It was close enough to drive there on a random Saturday, but far enough away from the city that I wouldn’t be waiting in a line that wrapped around 15 city blocks and had a 3-hours wait time (BlackTap, I’m looking at you- I STILL have not had one of your 2,000 calorie milkshakes and yeah, I’m mad about it).
Earlier this month, I saw this INSIDER Food video that blew my mind. Breakfast pizza that you could customize with your favorite cereal and was stuffed with french toast? WHAT A TIME TO BE ALIVE! I decided I had to go, so that’s how I spent my Sunday morning.
When I got there, I found out that you can actually customize your dessert pizza into a sampler of sorts- I picked 4 different kinds (2 slices of each) and laaaawwwddd, be still my heart. I have found heaven, and it lies in the form of S’mores pizza. Though there are about 2o+ flavors to choose from, we went with Birthday Cake, S’mores, Cinnamon Toast Crunch (bc that is FIRE), and Girl Scout Samoas Cookie flavor.
I’m not ashamed to say that I brought this whole box home and ate it while sitting on my floor watching Golden Girls (the whole series is out on Hulu, you’re welcome). What I’m slightly upset about is that I only got a few bites of each flavor before I had to run out and meet a friend for drinks. When I came back, it was after 11pm and I was slightly tipsy, so I got cozy on my couch and settled in for another round or Dorothy + Sophia going at it about something that happened in Sicily in 1912. This is when I noticed a shadow cross my floor, so I flipped on the light and saw a tiny mouse running away… you can’t imagine how hard I cried over this- I’m talking full on sobbbing, choking on my own spit kind of tears. I’m not proud of my reaction, but I can’t lie- I instantly considered moving. Not kidding. I don’t want to get into the sad details of it, but obviously I had to throw the dessert pizza away, because EW but also, ugh :(. Side note- in an attempt to not live my life in fear of a 1.5lb piece of fluff with a nasty-ass tail, I have tried to humanize him by naming him Jean-Claude. JC and I have not seen each other since the incident, and I’m hoping that he has chosen another apartment with healthier food options lying around for him to enjoy. This is how I’m coping, leave me alone!
Anyways, because JC enjoyed my pizza, I’ll be making a return trip to Brother Bruno’s soon- check out their flavors and write me a comment to help me decide on what to try next!